What are conversation techniques? 6 methods for better communication!

What are conversation techniques? What types of conversation techniques are there? Conversation techniques are a powerful method to enhance your communication. In this article, you will learn how to (as a coach) create a safe environment with openness and trust, and how to handle resistance. Learn from examples of motivational conversation techniques and respectful confrontation, and become a better conversation partner!

• What are Conversation Techniques?
• Different Types of Conversation Techniques
• 6 Examples of Conversation Techniques

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What are Conversation Techniques?

Conversation techniques are methods to enhance your communication. In other words, how can you better direct conversations for various purposes? Conversation techniques can be used to motivate people, clarify goals, align with each other, negotiate, and more.

Why is it important to have good conversation skills? A good conversation can transform people and organizations from within. Every great idea starts with a good conversation!

Different Types of Conversation Techniques

There are various types of conversation techniques. Some focus on verbal communication and questioning, while others emphasize non-verbal communication and active listening.

Although conversation techniques might sound like an “easy hack” for your coaching sessions, in reality, it still revolves more around your presence and openness in the conversation.
 

However, there are some attitudes or mindsets that can help you conduct better conversations:

1. Listen with the goal of understanding the other person better
2. Repeat what the coachee says in your own words
3. Ask open-ended questions that encourage thinking
4. Probe deeper to get to the essence
5. Verify instead of assuming
6. Rely on the coachee’s capabilities
7. Stay open, honest, and curious
8. Listen without judgment
9. Maintain your authentic self
10. Openness opens doors
11. Speak from the “I” perspective
     

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6 Examples of Conversation Techniques

How can you effectively apply these conversation techniques in different scenarios? Below are some examples of conversation techniques in various scenarios.

• Motivational Conversation Techniques
• Dealing with Resistance
• A Coachee Who Clams Up
• Building Trust
• How to Confront a Coachee Respectfully
• Discovering Hidden Communication

Motivational Conversation Techniques

Motivating someone to take action is not straightforward. Motivation is a personal experience and differs for everyone. First and foremost, you need to understand why motivation is lacking. Does the coachee feel they can no longer grow, or are they burnt out from trying to do too much at once?

You can't impose action. By letting the coachee think about what they can do, you guide them towards their own goal. However, you can use motivational conversation techniques to encourage the coachee to think. You can increase motivation by asking 'What if' questions, for example:

• What if you could reach your ultimate goal? – What would you do? What would that look like?
• What if you could make this task easier or more enjoyable?
• What if you don’t do this?

The coachee visualizes different outcomes, giving them a clearer picture of success. On the other hand, they also see what happens if they don’t take action. These motivational conversation techniques are effective, but not for everyone. When someone's self-confidence is low, you can ask about previous successes. People often think about what they haven't achieved yet and forget the journey they've already made.

Dealing with Resistance

Resistance in a coaching conversation often stems from fear, which in turn arises from a deeper need. For example, fear of failure indicates a need for success, avoidance of conflict reflects a need for harmony, and isolation points to a need for acceptance.

It's important to first acknowledge this fear without judgment. By listening sincerely, you often address part of the need. Use various conversation techniques, ideally combined in the 'Listening, Summarizing, Probing' model.

Then, you can reduce the coachee's fears by asking targeted questions and correcting unfounded assumptions. What reasoning leads to this fear? Is the fear justified? What happens in the worst-case scenario? What are the effects of this?

A Coachee Who Clams Up

When you feel that your coachee is clamming up, it means you're too much in your own head and need to be more present in the conversation. Remember that you and the coachee are on equal footing. You don't need to have the answers yourself. This is what makes coaching unique and distinct from other forms of guidance.

“Coaching is the art of not knowing”

Trust in the coachee's ability to find answers on their own. All insights are within them! Your role is to remain open-minded and curious. Seek new information to better empathize with the coachee.

Building Trust

Openness creates openness. Coaches, leaders, managers… we are all human. By presenting yourself in a somewhat controlled manner, you can generate a great deal of trust in the conversation. You can create a safe environment by showing genuine interest and assuring the coachee of a judgment-free zone.

Again, you and the coachee are equals, so you will be exploring answers together! On the other hand, process management and clear agreements also foster more trust. It demonstrates your professionalism as a coach and ensures a smooth coaching process.
 

How to Confront a Coachee Respectfully

Techniques for confrontation in coaching typically involve clarifying and reframing certain assumptions held by the coachee. For example, if a coachee makes statements like "No one understands me" or "There's nothing special about what I do," you might infer that there are some limiting beliefs holding them back.

You can confront the coachee by mirroring their statement. For instance: "If what you're doing is so obvious, why aren't more people doing it?" Such a statement can often prompt the coachee to think about things differently.

Next, you can ask them how aware they are of these beliefs. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this behavior? How does it serve their goals within a specific context? Confrontation also involves trust. You should never personally attack or make someone feel judged.

Discovering Hidden Communication

Finally, there are techniques to uncover new or hidden communication. As a coach, you still have an internal awareness during a conversation, which can include both feelings and thoughts. In coaching, this is referred to as the "self-observer."

When you have a suspicion or insight that might help the coachee, you can introduce it as a hypothesis in a controlled manner. For example:

• Could it be that...?
• I have the feeling that...
• It seems to me...
• …

However, never assume correctness. You are merely exploring possible causes or opportunities, so it is important to always follow up with questions. For example:

• How does that sound?
• What do you think about this?
• Do you think this too, or do you see it differently?
• How do you view this?
• …

This allows you to engage your intuition and collaboratively build on the new insights that emerge from the conversation. By being present in the 'now,' you can continue the conversation without judgment and build on it constructively.

Enhance Your Conversations with 30+ Coaching Questions!